What Is Zombieing in Dating?
Online dating platforms have changed the way we find potential partners and meet new people. Over the years, there have been terms created for online dating situations. Some of the common ones include ghosting, breadcrumbing, and negging.
However, “ghosting zombieing” has become more common these days. In fact, ghosting is the most widely known term in online dating. While “ghosting meaning” means that a person you were talking to or dating suddenly disappears with no explanation.
Unfortunately, ghosting dating is a huge part of the online dating world. This situation can happen for many reasons including:
- Lack of interest
- Finding another option, OR
- Taking a break from dating.
This trend has made virtual dating more difficult, with some believing that zombieing is worse than ghosting itself.
What Does It Mean To Zombie Someone?
Ghosting zombieing, or zombieing dating, is when someone who ghosted you randomly messages you out of the blue. This response is annoying because it shows how the person who ghosted you doesn’t take their actions seriously. This category of ghosting dating behavior is toxic. When people resort to zombieing because of poor decision-making processes, it can truly hurt the individuals on the other end.
This term got its name due to the nature of what zombieing ghosting depicts. When an individual you were dating returns after ghosting you, it’s like they are coming back from the dead. This dating situation pairs perfectly with the association and comparison of the word zombie.
Zombieing is one of the worst online dating behaviors to experience, but why does it happen?
Why Do People Zombie You In Online Dating Scene?
Just like with any behavioral pattern, there is a list of reasons why zombieing occurs. Due to the nature of modern dating, many people aren’t serious or genuine with their intentions.
A vast majority of those on dating platforms use those looking for love for their own advantage. While hookups and casual dating are normal, playing with one’s emotions is a problematic part of online dating. Since so many people don’t view dating as a serious part of life, toxic behaviors such as ghosting and zombieing occur. One may also resort to this tactic if a relationship didn’t work out with another. They will then hop back onto dating sites, and message those whom they passed on prior. There is typically no valid excuse for zombieing since it’s incredibly disingenuous.
While ghosting behaviors occur hugely due to careless people, there are also specific reasons for zombieing being commonplace.
All around the world, appearance, unfortunately, plays a major role in dating preferences. Beauty standards decrease the chances of dating success for those who don’t fit the ideals of society.
Truthfully, nobody is visually perfect. Social media, photoshop, plastic surgery, makeup, and other tools are utilized to make everyday people feel insecure. Marketing is constantly being conducted in order to trick us to do everything we can to fit a cookie-cutter mold of how we should look. Thin people are seen as more attractive when it comes to dating.
Plus-size individuals are far more susceptible to zombieing. This is because we are trained to believe that we have to prioritize appearance first before other traits. While we usually forget about personality, qualities, loyalty, and other traits because society over-focuses on a perfect cover rather than a perfect inside.
“Plus-size individuals have to constantly overcome obstacles such as zombieing dating due to their physical appearance,” says Carl Powers, relationship blogger at Write my X and 1 Day 2 write. “This disadvantage makes online platforms feel unsafe for those who don’t portray modern beauty standards.”
A common antidote for heartbreak is finding a rebound partner. This unhealthy coping mechanism has increased the levels of both ghosting and zombieing dating.
Heartbroken individuals will find themselves scouting for a rebound on a dating platform. The bad part is, that they may not be honest about why they want to go on a date in the first place. They could end up going on a few dates with a person or multiple people, and stop responding once they feel better. When they feel needy again or want attention, the person who zombied will return to their rebound.
Fear of Commitment
Failing to commit is one of the biggest flaws of modern dating. Too many people on dating sites don’t actually desire a committed relationship.
When they interact with those who do want the real deal, they usually ghost and eventually end up zombieing them. One who fears commitment may start dating somebody for months, and once things become more serious, they leave.
Fear of commitment is often a result of relationship trauma, only wanting physical relations, and not having emotional maturity. Zombieing tends to happen, because of commitment issues, even if the individual who ghosted you was trying their best to seriously date.
As you can tell, zombieing dating behavior can happen for several reasons. It’s good to know why ghosting dating is prevalent so you don’t feel hurt when you experience it yourself.
How To Deal With Zombieing?
While dating can be complex, especially when it’s conducted through a virtual setting, you would still have to look at your situation. Depending on the circumstances, you could feel inclined to give your zombie another chance when they have returned. Unless there is a justification for a person ghosting you, giving them a second chance isn’t the best idea. If an individual holds themselves completely accountable for ghosting you and has a valid reason, then their behavior may be forgivable. So, giving your zombie a second chance is a decision that requires careful consideration.
When going into dating, you must have a healthy mindset. This means that you shouldn’t let people treat you as less than, like something they can always return to whenever they please. Dating success heavily relies on the boundaries you set going into these experiences. If you let people ghost you, and get to have a second chance, you aren’t prioritizing your happiness. The more people forgive those who rely on zombie dating, the worse it will become over time. Giving that zombie another chance to have fun with you gives them a huge advantage. Instead of resuming dating flaky people, unmatch with them and block their profile. Don’t let unreliable dating options waste your time and mess with your emotional state.
While you shouldn’t forgive a zombieing dating participant in the majority of circumstances, there can be some exclusions to this rule of thumb. Life is busy, and this can impact one’s dating life. Loss of a loved one, scheduling changes, moving and other crazy life events could also be why people on dating apps may stop communication out of nowhere.
“Unless you feel comfortable resuming the connection, try your best to avoid zombieing dating situations,” says Roger McGee, writer at Origin Writings and Brit Student. “Nobody deserves to be seen as an item they can constantly come back to.”
Approaching Zombieing Incidents in Your Dating Life
Realistically, if you are involved with online dating, you’ll likely experience zombieing or another form of ghosting. It’s important to know how to approach zombieing in an appropriate manner. Ghosting behavior continues to trend, expanding and branching out in the online dating world. These are approaches to take when zombieing incidents happen in your dating life.
Don’t Give Into Non-Serious People
In no world should you be giving into players? This only wastes your time and energy, stopping you from meeting potential options. Immediately after you discover a dating match is not serious about you, then stop talking with them. Zombieing is a huge red flag that can be used to identify bad dating matches. The sooner you ditch those not wanting a real relationship, the easier it will be to have more dating success.
Be Honest About What You Are Looking For
When you first start talking to a match, be clear about what you’re looking for when it comes to dating. If you want a brief relationship, be honest about that. If you are looking for a hookup, make sure you make that clear immediately. No matter what your dating intentions are, be honest with every person. Leading people on isn’t fair, and just like with zombieing situations, nobody wants to be on the receiving end of that.
Take Breaks If Ghosting Frequently Happens
After months of wasted efforts, taking a break from online dating is your best option. Sometimes there is no escaping ghosting and terrible dating matches. Continuing to go on dates even after a pattern of zombieing dating and other toxic situations is detrimental to one’s mental health. Avoiding zombieing dating is possible if you aren’t always frequently using dating platforms.
Ultimately, you should never respect anyone who uses ghosting zombieing tactics when dating online. Toxic dating trends make dating experiences unenjoyable and stressful. If you ever get a text from that person who ghosted you, don’t give them the time of day. It’s best to leave the zombies in the ground.
Business development manager George J. Newton works at both Write my research paper. George has learned about how to maintain a healthy relationship after being married to his wife for ten years.