Choosing the best pictures of you for your online dating profile can be a challenge for anyone. When you are plus-size, this task can seem even more difficult.
You may worry about what people will think of you and your appearance. And this can make the process of deciding how to display yourself online one of uncertainty and self-doubt.
If you are struggling to decide which pictures to use for your online dating profile, here are some handy tips!
Dating is not about making everybody like you. It is about finding the right person who does.
The key to a healthy and enjoyable relationship is to find someone who likes you for who you are, rather than what you may be pretending to be.
Use pictures of yourself in dating profile
This one may seem obvious, and you may be thinking, “of course they’ll be pictures of me!” However, some people find it tempting to use pictures of other people on their online dating profile pictures. Ultimately, this is not only dishonest but also pointless. If you met up for a date with somebody after lying about your identity, they would most likely feel betrayed and insulted, regardless of whether or not they found you attractive in the flesh.
Of course, this is an extreme example, and most of us wouldn’t do this. However, there is another way that some people often get around insecurity of displaying themselves, and that is to post photos of literally anything other than themselves. This may be their pet, a scenic view, their child, or even just a meme. While there are sometimes understandable reasons for this, such as if they work in a job where they cannot appear publicly on dating sites, most people are not going to show interest in profiles like this, and this strategy is unlikely to succeed.
Another common thing is to use photos that do not show what you actually look like in real life. This includes extreme close-ups (I have seen plenty of profile pics that are just zoomed in on someone’s eye, for example), photos with extreme filters applied to them, or pictures where they are wearing sunglasses that cover most of their face. Group shots are another common pet peeve—you can include a photograph of you and others, but only if your profile shows other photos of you so that people can tell who you are. You don’t want to talk to someone and think he is into you only to find out he thinks you’re the girl next to you in the photo!
Avoid photos that aren’t recent
It is incredibly common for people to use old photographs of themselves on their online dating profiles. This may be because they particularly like the way they look in that photo. It may be because they are older and want people to think they look younger for their age. Or it may be because they were happier with their weight at the time that the photograph was taken. Despite the reasons, outdated photos on dating profiles are among the most common complaints that people have about online dating.
It is usually best to use photos that have been taken in the last year, or even more recently than that if your appearance has changed significantly. Basically, make sure your photo looks like you, the way you are today!
Use photos that are flattering but not deceptive
You do not have to use photos that are entirely representative of you on a completely average day. Most people are aware that people choose flattering photos for their online profiles, so they will probably factor this in. You don’t have to look exactly as good as that perfect picture of you every second of every day (how exhausting would that be?).
However, it is best to put some effort in. A badly-taken photo of you when you have just rolled out of bed without having brushed your hair, or are just lounging around in pajamas, is not best for an online profile. Of course, in a successful relationship, a partner would see that side of you. Still, it isn’t the best strategy for an online dating profile. A good choice of photograph is one that shows most of your body (at least from the waist up). One where you are dressed nicely, and where you look friendly. If the site that you are using includes the option to upload multiple photos, just make sure at least one of them is a body shot. The trick to a great profile picture is to make sure it realistically represents you, but you on a good day.
Show off your fun side
Some plus-size people fall into the dating trap of being overly self-deprecating, either in their pictures or written bios. If a photo shows you looking uncomfortable or insecure, it is probably not the best. Most people are more attracted to people who seem fun and have a good sense of humor. This doesn’t necessarily mean all of your pictures have to be shots of you living it up in a nightclub (although those kinds of shots can be great if that’s your scene). But you should look happy, and they should show you doing things that you like to do.
When choosing online photos, one thing to remember is that, while they are important, they are not the only aspect of a successful dating profile. Most sites also include a bio section where you can write about yourself.
You can use this to explain your hobbies and interests, what you are looking for in a relationship. And even mention that you may be carrying “a little extra” if you can’t show that in your photos.
Overall, the most important thing to remember is to be honest and not to hide anything. After all, Dr. Seuss once said, “Be yourself, because the people who mind don’t matter, and the people who matter don’t mind.”
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