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    Why Has Dating Racism become Normal Situation for Asian men?

    by Ellie

    Dating applications are on the rise, and a better part of the world’s population has a smooth ride by getting perfect matches. However, Asian men aren’t aboard this ship due to racial discrimination against them. Serving as an example is Lee Doud’s story that mirrors the magnitude of dating racism against Asian men, who face severe slurs online through dating applications.

    It was Lee’s least expectation that his racial mixture could earn him racial slurs on a date, but yes, it happened. It wasn’t once or twice as the slurs seemed to manifest in many dates he’s had before. However, one of them had the deepest cut at him!

    The date kicked off well and proceeded with the exchange of banters. Lee liked it not until the sudden change of events.

    curvy dating-asian guy
    Photo by Afif Kusuma on Unsplash

    Lee revealed to HuffPost that his partner inquired if at all he was a Latino and his response ignited dating racism. His companion couldn’t get along with Lee’s Chinese – Caucasian origin and candidly stated that he wasn’t feeling the date anymore. Rejection and slurs watered down the date to Lee’s disappointment.

    However, Lee’s was candid enough to inquire if his originality triggered the massive changes.

    In response to this, they guy denied Lee’s thoughts vehemently and withdrew all the compliments he issued before the question. He added that he wasn’t pretty sure of his liking and interest from the very beginning.

    Lee, however, appreciates the fact that everyone has a type, and in his case, his partner perceived him as an exotic and sexy Latino before the “doomsday bomb exploded.” He, thus, became undesirable courtesy of his Chinese – American originality.

    Other Opinions for Asian Men

    Most Asian – American men face similar experiences, and as a result, they remain single a better part of lives. As seen in TV shows and films, emasculated stereotyping is a setback for Asian men when it comes to dating. An excellent example of this is Steve Harvey’s headline that roughly poked Asian men to demonstrate how brief and quick Americans dismiss Asian men, citing their desirability. It is such shows and films that enhance dating racism against Asian men.

    The TV host laughed hysterically while poking at, “How to Date a White Man: A Practical Guide for Asian Men,” a book published in 2002.

    Harvey asserted that the book could only afford a page containing a question of special interest, “Excuse me, do you have a soft spot for Asian men?” and “Thanks, No!” was the answer. His next brainstormed about what black women’s response could be if they were asked a similar question, and what struck his mind was, “I neither have a taste nor preference for Chinese food and can’t eat what I’m unable to pronounce, let alone staying with an Asian man even a second.”

    He had no chills over this, and that’s a mirror image of dating racism against Asian men.

    Harvey’s belittling joke is a perfect replica of the tragic reality as it is in the society today. It’s weird to notice that Asian women are highly desirable to many, and the society’s fetish perception on them is incredible while their male counterparts experience a true converse of their position. In fact, Asian men are struggling to have a benign shake in dating pools.

    Why Does Dating Racism Exist?

    A study of OkCupid in 2014 deduces that Asian men were not as a desirable as opposed to non-Asian. Columbia University, on the other hand, conducted a speed-dating study only to find out that Asian men had a lot of difficulties repeating dates with their initial partners, and as a result, it was easy to account for the rising dating racism against Asian men. In 2018, dating became a complicated affair among men of Asian origin as profiles displaying “Sorry, No Asians” weren’t a rare scene in most dating applications.

    She further stated that dating racism is a source of trauma by affirming beliefs that deeply root themselves in men of Asian origin concerning their sexual attractiveness as well as masculinity. She backs up her statement citing evidence from the Asian men she’s had prior dealings with. It’s her finding that a better part of Asian men growing up in environments dominated by whites finds themselves unattractive, and this is all about the perceived white masculinity in such environments.

    In the determination of “hot” figures in today’s, traditional Eurocentric and Western Standards are influential determinant factors. As a result, most people prefer guys with pale skin, narrow nose and large and non-almond like eyes. This could be because of lack of exposure to elucidate the attractiveness of Asian men.

    Daitng Racism on Kevin Kreider

    Male models also suffer a similar fate. For instance, Kevin Kreider, a model, and fitness coach is utterly upset after a nasty encounter in Tinder. He’s of Korean- American origin-german parents after adoption. He exited Tinder courtesy of dating racism.

    Kreider confessed to HuffPost that the exposure to racial slurs lowered his self-esteem. He failed to comprehend why he couldn’t attract interest despite his handsomeness. Consequently, he narrowed down his profile until he got someone’s interests to date with him. The fact white men lined up dates with beautiful and diligent women was a bitter pill for him to swallow.

    Kreider opted for real-life hookups and hunting for matches in the real world, and this was utterly productive. He met women who ended up liking, and a majority of them were into dating him.

    It is a “charity begins at home moment for him” as he learns that he is the first agent in appreciating and treasuring his Asian origin. Such people only attract who they are, or who they wish to be. He deduced negativity, and resentfulness among only attract people with similar traits to them, and this is utterly poisonous.

    The Origin of Dating Racism

    Last year, Eddie Huang penned in a New York Times paper that the heightened dating racism against Asian men is an attribute of an ugly culture. Today, these individuals stand out as naturally subordinate technology gurus. According to Eddie, the “Fresh Off-the Boat” Asian men we see today have never as a threat. Because they had no ability and capacity of stealing one’s girl, in the past, and even thousands of millenniums.

    Chiung Hwang Chen, a professor of Media and Communication Studies at Brigham Young University. He said:” Hawaii takes us back to the 19th century where the white community, the majority, of course, perceived Asian ancestors as a sexless, feminine breed.”

    In 1996, the professor penned down in an academic paper Asian immigrants were perceived as incongruent people by the whites. This was the same period that the Chinese legislated xenophobic immigration rules such as the Exclusion Act of 1882. One of the causative agents of this perception was Chineses’ physical presentation; talk of silky foreign tunics and the skinny bodies. Seconding this was the job positions Chinese took after the gold rush. They worked as laundrymen, cooks, and dishwashers.

    However, Chiung Hwang Chen writes that a pop culture is a redemption tool for Asian men from dating racism as evidenced in films produced before the 1970’s. In one way, these films presented Chinese as “forbidding masculine figures and ‘yellow perils’” that never cease hunting women. She’s categorical on “The Mask of Fu Manchu,” a 1932 production, in which the starring encourages his Asian army towards killing white men and taking away their women.

    She additionally attests her optimism, to HuffPost, concerning the desirability of Asian men 22 years down the line. Her hope her is an aftermath of the massive following of soap operas as pop boy bands originating from Korea. She sees the light at the end of the tunnel that Asian men will be some people’s “type.”

    There’s a remarkable growth in millennials courtesy of Jet Li and Jackie Chan movies. However, the duo’s epicenter of attention was kicking ass and profile building, but not attracting women in large numbers. Extending Asian representation of Asian sex figures beyond Bruce Lee is a recipe for future acceptance of Asian men.

    She’s of the opinion that Korean pop culture can overturn dating racism pretty quick, and hassle-free. She added that she’s reviewing an article, entitled “Asian Masculinity in the Age of  Global Media”.  The article explores the interplay between the impact of viewing of K-drama and women’s perception regarding Asian men.

    While working with her San Fransisco clients, she recommends fronting Asian TV shows and movies with actors of Asian origin. She sees Tony Leung, the star of “In the Mood of Love” as a favorite and a perfect choice for anyone looking for suave and romantic Asian who can dress as good as Don Draper.

    She advises Asian – American men with the desire of developing dating self-confidence to appreciate shows fronting Asian males as main characters or Asian-based stories as well as extending the definition of masculinity beyond the perceived white ideology.


    Lee sides with Hsiang’s advises by adding an ideal definition of masculinity help in fighting dating racism among Asian men.

    Lee further warns against the inborn fear that however hard Asian men fight dating racism and stereotyping. It has deeply entrenched the actual images and ideas in their culture. This has implicated a sense of defeat in this fight. Besides, Lee encouraged boldness and candidness among Asian men as they relentlessly converse about this crucial issue. To him, it’s a way of intercepting a perpetual trend of this issue today and in the future.